Love Me

Do you ever have these random moments when you are looking at your child and it hits you that this tiny human is mine? Of course  I don't mean that I don't realise this all of the time,  I know Maddy is mine, but I mean that heart fluttering, butterflies in your stomach kind of feeling. The first part of mine and her daddy's relationship was when he was recovering from drug addiction. Anyone who has gone through this knows how rough those first few months can be and are. You are finally having to deal with life and all of the raw emotions you have been choosing to run from.  One day I came home from work and saw a piece of paper laying on the table. The words "LOVE ME" were written on it. I don't even know if he remembers it but those words have stuck with me. Over the years, when we have agruments, they sometimes find their way back into my head and I thank God for that because those are the times that, even in the heat of the moment, I remember what is important. I fail daily at being the wife God has called me to be and that I so desperately WANT to be but when I look at this little girl I see the fruits of that love. I see that 21 year old version of Shane and that 20 year old version of myself and how I felt that same heart fluttering, butterflies in your stomach feeling when I looked at him.