What My First Year of Motherhood Taught Me

Your life changes.
While I didn't go into the hospital on delivery day thinking life is going to remain the same just with an extra person in the mix, I didn't realize just how much one little baby would completely transform our world. It' s amazing how effortlessly we transitioned from it being just the two of us to now a family of three, like she has been here with us all along. Also, I never thought I could love Shane more than I already did- then we had a baby. He is the best daddy to her. It was amazing seeing the instant connection between the two of them and how natural being her daddy was to him.

Things won't always go the way you planned.
I spent my whole pregnancy coming up with  scenarios in my head of things I would and wouldn't do. "I am going to have a natural birth", "I never want to formula feed my baby", "I don't want her to have a ton of distracting toys", I could go on and on forever, and I mean FOREVER. I'm just going to make a couple of points here.
1- Every birth is different and unpredictable. I had to have a scheduled cesarean with Maddy and the ONLY thing that mattered to me when that day aririved was that me and my baby were both healthy. I would choose a safe delivery a thousand times over risking our lives because I want things to go my way,
2-Breastfeeding is HARD. Maddy was born with jaundice. Though she latched on perfectly from day one, we were advised to get as much liquid in her as possible to help her levels go up so right away we were supplementing with formula. Thanks to this and a few days with a biliblanket, her jaundice cleared up but the following 2 1/2 months were a struggle. She never seemed satisfied after her feedings so at that point I started her on full time formula and it was so hard because I felt so bad major mom guilt about it. Although I do believe that breast milk is the absolute best thing you can do for your baby  you know what the important thing is? My baby was FED.
I also feel like it's worth mentioning that as I am sitting here writing this I am also looking at half of a living room full of, you guessed it, TOYS. I believe it's so important for your baby to have interaction with you and have you teach them things early on  (a lot of Maddy's toys are learning toys) but if she wants to crawl around with a crinkle toy hanging out of her mouth and she enjoys it, why not? She is only little for so long.

Slow down and accept help.
I look back on this first year of Maddy's life and I can't believe how quickly it passed. I often find myself missing those newborn days. There's something about a little baby that  just forces you to slow down. Whether you are drowning in housework or whatever the case is for you- put it on hold  and snuggle your baby. Another thing, we are so careful with who watches her but sometimes it's nice to get alone time with your husband. Even if it's just driving around town for an hour talking with each other while she gets great grandma and gramdpa time it's so refreshing!

Forgive yourself
I will never forget her first "boo boo". I was alone with her while Shane was working and I was trimming her nails. She squirmed and I missed the nail. There was so much blood, I even called my mom crying like a big baby asking if she thinks I should take her to the hospital. Long story short she was perfectly fine and I was too...eventually. She has taught me to be kinder and more forgiving to myself because no matter what at the end of the night when I am beating myself up for something stupid I did, she is looking up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and she still loves me just the same.

Make time for your husband
There was so much change this past year- we had a baby, changed jobs three times, and moved twice. Sometimes we are so busy and wrapped up with the everyday routine of life and it's so easy to feel disconnected from each other. It's so important to be intentional with your marriage and make time for each other.  I am trying to be more mindful that one day when our children are all grown up it will be just the two of us again.

Trust God
This is the biggest thing for us. As a parent you constantly worry about every little thing regarding your child and it is exhausting. I feel like I have to tell myself this everyday- sometimes hour to hour, sometimes minute to minute, but God is so good at caring for us and he ultimately has control and knows what's best for us